the second coming

the second coming/

of Jesus Christ occurred, almost entirely eluding human knowledge, ten years ago. The son of God arrived in Bush Jr.'s oval office. Claimed as U.S. Property and a sign of the country's righteousness, he was promptly incarcerated in a black prison somewhere in Afghanistan where the president called him every night for a bedtime parable and prophecy. Given his limited attention span, Junior almost never made it to the prophecy.

Obama's calls, in contrast, are decidedly one-sided. The president simply makes speeches and asks only for Jesus's applause in return.